because of teh bryce

How time flies... almost three weeks later, and here I am again. I've been hella busy with work and baseball and... well, that's aboot all I do. Oh, and I've been playing far too much San Andreas for my own good. Grand Theft Auto owns my life now, so say goodnight to the bad guy.

I'm teh light duty whore at work again, a box incident fucked my shoulder up and tore some ligaments and what-not. I thought it was okay a few days ago, but relapsed and now I'm doing up physiotherapy for it. At least my workplace is concerned with my well-being and recovery.

Drunken Madness V rolls on, like a cat orgy with limitless catnip rails to snort. I've decided to extend it into the summer, to take advantage of the nice weather and extended drunkenness taking place. It will now encompass footage from November 2005 up until the middle of August 2006, a similar length of filming time as the very first movie that was almost a year in the making. Five is shaping up to be the biggest and best, with several segments already completed or considered for inclusion...

"The Ghost of You" emo video
"Soldierside" music video
"Drunken Retrospective"
"Digital Camera" by Schaap
Egg Nog Challenge
Drive-Thru Massacre
New Year's Extravaganza
"The Death of Bran" short film
"T3h G33k F1lm"
"Back Room Antics"
"Assplay" featuring Ben
"Alone 357, Denied" black and white short film
"Medical Moments with Schaap"
"Legends of Madness: Matt Noel"
"Bastard of Puppets" Schaaps drunken ramblings
"Retard Fight pt. 2"
"Possum Molestation with Ben"
"Splinter Cell: Apartment Assassin"
"Carts of Doom" Wal-Mart footage
Random drunken moments


Holy shitt, I didn't realize how much has gone into it so far until I just made that list. And it's far from over, too, so it's gonna be some good stuff. Look forward to it! If you don't, then I'll make you eat antacid tablets and chug some water right after!

That was lame. But a cookie goes to anyone that can find the four South Park references I've included in this entry. The cookie may be sightly melted, but that's because its fuckin hott these days! Goddamn, I'm dying here.

I'm off to play more San Andreas, when I should be sleeping.

the condensed weblog

Here we are again, prior entry can be found here if you were curious. This is all purely fictional, for the most part... so here we go. I present to you a condensed weblog of...

The Emo Adventures of Bryce The Raw (Super Slasher Extended Crying Beeyotch Mix)

I woke up this morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. Why wake up when I could just hide in my dreams? Or is that where you find me, to torment me more. I went outside, it was raining. I love when it rains, because no one can see how hard I'm crying.

My car wouldn't start, it feels like my life. It just never started, and if it did it stopped suddenly when she left. I miss her, I touch myself to her but it can't bring her back. No amount of wishing can keep her away from me. I love her, I hate her, I miss her.

I walked to my job, standard 9-5 bullshit, it fucks goats. I fucked a goat once, just to see if it'd make goat noises. It didn't. It hardly reacted. No one seems to react when I'm there, it's like I'm not here. I'll hide myself, hide my heart, so you can't hurt me. I'll bleed myself so you can't bleed me. Life is pain, life is only pain.

When darkness stares at you, will you run or will you fight? I'll wait in the corner until it's light. But there is no light, the end of the tunnel is just another long dark tunnel of misery and sorrow. And so I cry. I cry blood from my wrists, I hurt myself so you can't hurt me.

I got to work, and an aluminum can slashed part of me. Whether it was an accident or purposeful is irrelevant, the regret I have is unimportant. All that matters is the pain. I hold up an imaginary barrier or fence, because you can't hurt me through a fence. The barrier is my soul, I present it as a defensive way of coping with this imaginary sadness. Life is pain, only pain.

Work was over as quickly as it started, just like my life. If it was over, would you remember me? Would you remember that I loved you, that I breathed you, and never wanted to let you go? This goes for anyone I've ever met. You wouldn't remember, more likely try to forget. Forget my pain and misery, it isn't there. Let me hide in the dark, I'll cower until the night is over.

I went to bed, screaming into my pillow. Will the tragedy ever end? Will my heart be left alone, or ripped across the shards of broken glass that are my feelings for you? I don't know, all I know is that I try to trudge on, one day at a time. One step at a time. My feet are bloody, bruised, and broken, but the pain keeps me going. Life is pain, I thrive on it, create it for myself, there's no point in thinking outside of my misery. That's when I'll think of her.

And so I hide. Hide from the light, hide from the night, wait for another day, cut the pain away. You can't get me, you won't even try, would you care if I die? Probably not, just go on with your life, and that's why I hurt myself, with my knife.

You can't take me!


***********
Damn emo kids. So there you have it, that's how it is. Check here if you want to see how accurate this is.

Next time: the condensed wegblog of little boy Bran.

Sam Fisher

I'm so Sam Fisher, it hurts. Thats the character from a video game series known as Splinter Cell, which I have fallen in love with as of late. I got the latest one last year, and a few weeks ago got the second one in the series, and it's so much fun. Goddamn, always sneaking around and shit... it's what I do. I'm a sneaky bastard, especially when I'm drunk. If your ass hurts suddenly, you'll know that I did something sneaky.

Me and Bran were playing it a few days ago, the co-operative mode, and since I love it, we're now going to film our own drunken version of Splinter Cell, with me creeping around in the shadows and shit, snapping necks and stabbing people in the back. It'll be the greatest thing in the world, I suspect.

I saw a movie called X-Men 3 last week, too, and it was really quite good. It made me satisfied in many ways, including: sexually, physically, mentally, and spiritually. This was mostly due to the new character named Kittty Pryde. Her mutant power is that she can walk through walls, and in fact any surface she wants. And when she touches someone, she can bring them along, too. Imagine how fucking kinky that shit could get... intense! I know I was imagining it, at least. She's very cute, though... real name is Ellen Page, look her up if you get the chance.

More of me and my Army of Darkness Cat:



He is now known simply as Darkness, or even The Cat, if you'd prefer. What a wacky little kritter.

And here we are, the high quality version of... Angry Burger!



That's where it came from, if you were wondering.

Next time, on Mike's Random Adventures: The Condensed Weblog of Herr Bryce


Current Music: Blink 182 - "Dumpweed"
Currently Picking At: 100% (!)

a blasphematic psychopath

I find myself amazed after today. This morning was my first Saturday morning shift, and it was busy as fuck, and all of us were given mandatory overtime, something the company hates to do but had to. So my 7-530 shift suddenly became 7 AM - 730 PM, an extra two hours. I haven't done a twelve hour shift in years, so it was intense. And of course I hadn't slept.

So we did it up, and then at 730, the company brought in a fully catered lasagna dinner for the employees made to stay. That's so outrageous and unexpected, but in the best possible way. This place actually cares aboot the morale of its employees, and it was a damn fine meal. Two extra hours of work, free food... it all works out.

The other good thing currently is that we kicked ass in our ball game last night. Thursday's was rained out, but last night was great weather... not too hott, not too cold, a slight rain at times. And I goddamn hit an in-the-park homerun. Almost an infield homerun, had my hit been crappy. It went out there, and i got to second, and then they threw it to someone but they dropped it, so I was gone to third and then home. Thank fuck for fielder errors. So that's the second homerun this year... this time I had been the first up to bat, so I was the only run. We won 11-7 as a final, though, so it was all good.

Teh Army of Darkness Cat!!!!



More information to come.


Current Music: The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie
Currently Picking At: 86% :(

carman lovin'

I've been able to survive morning shifts so far, quite well in fact. Did up 7-530 on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and although I had almost no sleep, I did fine. I guess that's because I actually have to be thinking all the time, and have a constant stream of work to do. At prior jobs, I would do an hour of work, then sleep or kill time. Easy money, but it'd put me to sleep. This way, I'm up all day, then I go to sleep. I was getting a bit of sickness on Monday though, from lack of sleep and working in a cold environment. It seems to have passed though.

In other news, I went to Matt's place Wednesday in the early afternoon, where his brother in law had loaned him a video projector. It was set up in a dark room, so we were able to play Halo on an eighty or ninety inch screen, plastered onto the wall. So fucking unbelievable, I could see shit in detail that I never noticed before. He also showed me the new Elder Scrolls game, Oblivion, which was almost reason enough for me to go out and get an XBox 360. It looked pretty sweet. If only I had money. I do, just not for that.

Later that night I did up a baseball game, where we unfortunately got destroyed. It was ridiculously hott out, but I won't make excuses... we sucked. I got our team's first point, and it was around 13-4 by the end. Not too hott, but we shall do better. I believe!

More to come tomorrow, don't worry.